諺語 · a single proverb
己所不欲，勿施於人
Simplified: 己所不欲，勿施于人
What does 己所不欲，勿施於人 (jǐ suǒ bù yù, wù shī yú rén) mean?
己所不欲，勿施於人 (jǐ suǒ bù yù, wù shī yú rén) is a folk proverb (yànyǔ 諺語). Word for word it reads "what you do not want for yourself, do not impose on others." In use it means: The Confucian rule of reciprocity; treat others as you would wish to be treated. You reach for it when you want that idea in one breath, and the Wood note it carries is why we hand it to those born in the Year of the Goat.
Literally: "what you do not want for yourself, do not impose on others."
The reading
The sharp thing you are about to hand someone is a thing you have flinched from receiving yourself. You know exactly how it lands, because it once landed on you. Before you pass it on, ask whether you would open your own hand for it.
The story
The line is from the Analects, spoken by Confucius as the whole of his teaching that can be carried through a lifetime: what you do not want for yourself, do not lay on others. It is the Confucian rule of reciprocity, used to check a person in the moment before they hand someone a thing they would flinch to receive.
Before you pass on the sharp word or the unwanted task, ask whether you would open your own hand for it. You already know how it lands because it once landed on you, so let that knowledge stop the exchange rather than repeat it.
What kind of proverb it is
Source Analects 論語
Sits beside
以和為貴
yǐ hé wéi guì
Harmony is the most valued principle in all human dealings.
克己復禮
kè jǐ fù lǐ
Master your own impulses and align your conduct with what is right.
言者無罪，聞者足戒
yán zhě wú zuì, wén zhě zú jiè
Honest criticism should not be punished, and the listener should take the caution to heart even if it doesn't wholly apply.
Keep reading
Return to the Proverb Pond to draw another of the eighty-seven, or hear one read aloud. Read the rest of its chapter in Harmony, Virtue & Balance, or follow the years these lines belong to: Year of the Goat, Year of the Rabbit, and Year of the Ox.
Questions
Is 己所不欲，勿施於人 a real Chinese proverb?
Yes. 己所不欲，勿施於人 (jǐ suǒ bù yù, wù shī yú rén) is a folk proverb (yànyǔ 諺語), and it comes from Analects 論語. It is living Chinese heritage, given here with per-character pinyin and its source so you can trust the line, not a phrase invented in English.
How do you pronounce 己所不欲，勿施於人?
In Mandarin it is jǐ suǒ bù yù, wù shī yú rén. Read the pinyin above each character to follow the tones, or press the speaker beside the calligraphy to hear your browser read 己所不欲，勿施於人 aloud in Mandarin.