諺語 · a single proverb
家醜不可外揚
Simplified: 家丑不可外扬
What does 家醜不可外揚 (jiā chǒu bù kě wài yáng) mean?
家醜不可外揚 (jiā chǒu bù kě wài yáng) is a colloquial saying (súyǔ 俗語). Word for word it reads "family shames must not be spread outside." In use it means: Keep the household's internal troubles within the household. You reach for it when you want that idea in one breath, and the Earth note it carries is why we hand it to those born in the Year of the Snake.
Literally: "family shames must not be spread outside."
The reading
You are tempted to hand your family's tender wound to someone who will only use it as a story. Some things heal in the dark of the house and rot in the open air of gossip. Guard the door, not out of pride, but because the people inside are still yours to protect.
The story
The saying is recorded in the Song Buddhist compendium Wudeng Huiyuan, and it draws a firm line between the inside and the outside of a household: the family's private troubles must not be broadcast beyond its walls. It is used to counsel discretion, the recognition that some wounds heal in the quiet of the house and fester in the open air of gossip.
When you are tempted to hand a family wound to someone who will only pass it on as a story, hold it inside the walls instead. Guard the door not out of pride but because the people inside are still yours to protect, and settle the trouble in the room where it lives.
What kind of proverb it is
Source 五燈會元
Sits beside
Keep reading
Return to the Proverb Pond to draw another of the eighty-seven, or hear one read aloud. Read the rest of its chapter in Home, Family & Roots, or follow the years these lines belong to: Year of the Snake, Year of the Rabbit, and Year of the Monkey.
Questions
Is 家醜不可外揚 a real Chinese proverb?
Yes. 家醜不可外揚 (jiā chǒu bù kě wài yáng) is a colloquial saying (súyǔ 俗語), and it comes from 五燈會元. It is living Chinese heritage, given here with per-character pinyin and its source so you can trust the line, not a phrase invented in English.
How do you pronounce 家醜不可外揚?
In Mandarin it is jiā chǒu bù kě wài yáng. Read the pinyin above each character to follow the tones, or press the speaker beside the calligraphy to hear your browser read 家醜不可外揚 aloud in Mandarin.