諺語 · a single proverb
與朋友交，言而有信
Simplified: 与朋友交，言而有信
What does 與朋友交，言而有信 (yǔ péng yǒu jiāo, yán ér yǒu xìn) mean?
與朋友交，言而有信 (yǔ péng yǒu jiāo, yán ér yǒu xìn) is a colloquial saying (súyǔ 俗語). Word for word it reads "in dealings with friends, let your word be trustworthy." In use it means: The core of friendship is that what you say can be relied on; a friend is someone whose promises you never have to double-check. You reach for it when you want that idea in one breath, and the Wood note it carries is why we hand it to those born in the Year of the Rabbit.
Literally: "in dealings with friends, let your word be trustworthy."
The reading
The friends who last are the ones whose "I'll be there" you never have to test. You are trying to be that for someone: the person whose small promises land like settled facts, so nobody has to hold their breath waiting to see if you meant it.
The story
The line is from the Analects, in the Xue Er chapter, in the words of the disciple Zixia, who counts it among the marks of a learned person: in dealings with friends, let your word be trustworthy. It names the core of friendship as reliability, a friend being someone whose promises you never have to double-check.
Try to be the person whose small promises land like settled facts. Keep the ordinary I will be there so faithfully that no one has to hold their breath waiting to see if you meant it, because that reliability is what makes a friendship last.
What kind of proverb it is
Source Analects 論語, Xue Er 學而 (Zixia)
Sits beside
人而無信，不知其可也
rén ér wú xìn, bù zhī qí kě yě
Without keeping one's word, a person cannot function among others at all.
君子之交淡如水
jūn zǐ zhī jiāo dàn rú shuǐ
True friendship between people of character is plain and unforced, not sweetened by flattery or gain, and lasting precisely because it asks for nothing.
路遙知馬力，日久見人心
lù yáo zhī mǎ lì, rì jiǔ jiàn rén xīn
Character and loyalty are proven only over time.
Keep reading
Return to the Proverb Pond to draw another of the eighty-seven, or hear one read aloud. Read the rest of its chapter in Friendship, Trust & Speech, or follow the years these lines belong to: Year of the Rabbit, Year of the Ox, Year of the Goat, and Year of the Horse.
Questions
Is 與朋友交，言而有信 a real Chinese proverb?
Yes. 與朋友交，言而有信 (yǔ péng yǒu jiāo, yán ér yǒu xìn) is a colloquial saying (súyǔ 俗語), and it comes from Analects 論語, Xue Er 學而 (Zixia). It is living Chinese heritage, given here with per-character pinyin and its source so you can trust the line, not a phrase invented in English.
How do you pronounce 與朋友交，言而有信?
In Mandarin it is yǔ péng yǒu jiāo, yán ér yǒu xìn. Read the pinyin above each character to follow the tones, or press the speaker beside the calligraphy to hear your browser read 與朋友交，言而有信 aloud in Mandarin.