諺語 · a single proverb
君子之交淡如水
What does 君子之交淡如水 (jūn zǐ zhī jiāo dàn rú shuǐ) mean?
君子之交淡如水 (jūn zǐ zhī jiāo dàn rú shuǐ) is a colloquial saying (súyǔ 俗語). Word for word it reads "the friendship of the noble person is bland as water." In use it means: True friendship between people of character is plain and unforced, not sweetened by flattery or gain, and lasting precisely because it asks for nothing. You reach for it when you want that idea in one breath, and the Water note it carries is why we hand it to those born in the Year of the Goat.
Literally: "the friendship of the noble person is bland as water."
The reading
You have a friend you can go months without calling, and pick up mid-sentence when you do. There is nothing to perform between you, nothing owed, and that flatness other people mistake for distance is the actual shape of trust: clear, drinkable, and it never runs out.
The story
The line is from the Zhuangzi, in the chapter Shan Mu, which contrasts the friendship of the noble person, bland as water, with that of the small person, sweet as wine, the one lasting because it asks for nothing and the other souring once the gain runs out. Its image is water as the plain, drinkable bond that never has to be performed and never runs dry.
Value the friend you can go months without calling and pick up mid-sentence when you do. Stop mistaking that plainness for distance, and stop sweetening your true friendships with flattery, because the bond that asks for nothing is the one that lasts.
What kind of proverb it is
Source Zhuangzi 莊子, chapter Shan Mu 山木
Sits beside
士為知己者死
shì wèi zhī jǐ zhě sǐ
To be genuinely understood by another person is so rare that it can command a loyalty deeper than life: the debt owed to being truly seen.
與朋友交，言而有信
yǔ péng yǒu jiāo, yán ér yǒu xìn
The core of friendship is that what you say can be relied on.
海內存知己，天涯若比鄰
hǎi nèi cún zhī jǐ, tiān yá ruò bǐ lín
A true friend collapses distance.
Keep reading
Return to the Proverb Pond to draw another of the eighty-seven, or hear one read aloud. Read the rest of its chapter in Friendship, Trust & Speech, or follow the years these lines belong to: Year of the Goat, Year of the Horse, Year of the Rabbit, and Year of the Rooster.
Questions
Is 君子之交淡如水 a real Chinese proverb?
Yes. 君子之交淡如水 (jūn zǐ zhī jiāo dàn rú shuǐ) is a colloquial saying (súyǔ 俗語), and it comes from Zhuangzi 莊子, chapter Shan Mu 山木. It is living Chinese heritage, given here with per-character pinyin and its source so you can trust the line, not a phrase invented in English.
How do you pronounce 君子之交淡如水?
In Mandarin it is jūn zǐ zhī jiāo dàn rú shuǐ. Read the pinyin above each character to follow the tones, or press the speaker beside the calligraphy to hear your browser read 君子之交淡如水 aloud in Mandarin.